Modesty

Modesty

By Kaitlyn DeBoer, started July 2011, finished August 2012

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. ~ 1 Timothy 2:9-10

A hundred years ago, modest dress was the norm even amongst non-Christian women, now it is all but forgotten. Modesty is vital and should not be neglected. One of the biggest reasons us Christian ladies need to be modest is so that we don’t cause one of our brothers in Christ to stumble (Romans 14:21 and 1 Corinthians 8). Most men constantly struggle with their thoughts in this area. Women usually don’t have this temptation, so it is hard for us to understand. If we are well covered up, we are not to blame; but when our dress encourages them we become as guilty as they are.

“But I want men to be attracted to me!”     

And they without a doubt will be, but not the type that you want. A year or so ago I and two other girls took part in a conversation with two young Christian men who were humble enough to tell us the truth. They explained to us that when women dressed immodestly and they were tempted, they would always run the other direction. They expressed their appreciation for those of us who dressed carefully and considerately so as to not tempt them. When you dress immodestly, the weak men will flock to you, while the strong Christian men will be running the other way as they ought. For those of you who are unmarried; if you end up married to one of those guys who gave in to temptation, what is going to happen when other half-naked ladies walk by? If he couldn’t control himself with you, what makes you think that that will change when you are married, especially once you get old and those younger girls are more attractive?

In addition to not tempting men, our bodies belong to God and to our husbands, or future husbands if we are not yet married. According to 1 Corinthians 7:4, “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” If you aren’t yet married, the woman spoken of in Proverbs 31 does her husband good “all the days of her life”. The verse doesn’t say “all the days of their life together,” it says “all the days of her life.” You belong to your husband or your future husband.

“You can’t tell me what to wear. The Bible says not to judge!”

Actually, the Bible says “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.” – Matthew 7:1-5 If you are not a believer, there is no need for me to judge you, because you already stand condemned. But if you are a sister in Christ, it is my duty to point out your sin to you in love. If  I see you sin and am silent, your blood is on my hands; but if I show you your error and you continue to sin, your blood is on your own hands (Ezekiel 3 and Matthew 18). 

“That’s fine for you, but everyone is different and has to decide what it best for them”

Yes, each woman’s standard will be a little different from the next, but the basic standard of modesty should remain the same. My standards include a neckline that is no lower than the necklace that I usually wear [I now wear a longer necklace so this standard has changed to two inches from the bottom of my necklace]. I should be able to pinch at least an inch on each side of a blouse, and skirts should cover my knees when I sit down. Clothes should not be tight around the hips.

“What about pants?”

The Bible does not say that women should not wear pants. God commanded the Israelites that a woman should not wear that which pertaineth to a man, but we are no longer under the Old Testament law, and in our culture pants are worn by men and women. I wear skirts because they are more modest and more feminine. In a skirt I feel like a lady, which reminds me to act like a lady. The majority of the pants I am seeing are low-rise jeans that show skin when you bend over. They have designs on the back that draw attention to the wrong area. They show off the shape of your legs. They are anything but modest. If you want to wear pants, how about borrowing a pair of your daddy’s? I don’t think anyone will be tempted with those.